Hygiene

Hygiene

I got on the bus and showed the driver my hot pink monthly passport. There were five people already on the bus. A few steps later I sat down on one of the hard plastic seats that is covered in a commercial grade fabric and a few millimeters of foam padding for comfort. My briefcase sat beside me and we drove about six blocks and picked up another passenger and continued on. Midway between the next two stops the bus driver pulled the bus over and stood up. He turned to those of us riding the bus and said: "It's important to take regular showers and baths. Somebody on the bus doesn't smell very good. This isn't the first time. So take regular showers and baths or if it continues,…
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Did You Know I Live on a Farm?

Did You Know I Live on a Farm?

Hey Eric, Remember when I said that all the cords in my apartment looked like snakes to me and you said that after you had ants, every coffee ground looked like an ant? Look at this coffee ground. I haven't seen a snake in 2 weeks, but late last week I discovered I had a few hundred extra roommates and when they started trying to crawl into bed with me I drew the line. I went out and bought them some of these fancy ant discos and put them around. I'm not really sure how these things work because I object to reading directions, let alone following them. What I would like to believe is that the ant discos are filled with deadly ant STDs and the ants go out…
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Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy…

Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy…

...But It's Necessary. - Ice Cube, Down for Whatever A few weeks ago I told you that I landed the unpaid summer internship I was hoping for. Unpaid. There is no price I can put on the incredible experience I will gain over this summer. Pamela asked me in the comments if I was going to start pimping my blog to pay the bills. I didn't get into blogging to make money. For quite a while I scoffed at the blogs that had advertising while quietly admiring those who are so successful with advertising on their blogging that they blog for a living. Experience doesn't pay the bills, and things such as professionalism and confidentiality foreclose blogging about any of that experience. I've added advertising tonight. My hope isn't to…
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Going Postal?

Going Postal?

The air was cold and there was a thin fresh layer of snow on the ground on a cloudy afternoon in late January. My neighbor who looks after a few children, as well as her own, during the day had just put all of the little people down for their naps when someone started pounding on her door and ringing her doorbell over and over. My home in Sioux Falls sets above street level by approximately three to three and a half feet. This means that the portion of the driveway from the sidewalk (at street level) to the main driveway (by the house) is about a 20º to 25º incline. It's not so steep that I cannot drive up and down it in the winter, but it's steep enough…
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In Speed Dating, take the First Off-Ramp

In Speed Dating, take the First Off-Ramp

The following is based on actual events, but they've been spiced up a bit, perhaps This week a friend of mine went speed dating. No, "my friend" isn't me - believe me, if I ever go speed dating, I'll be back with stories to tell, uncensored and unabashedly. Waiting for that night to come was like plucking eyebrows - painful and tedious. What to wear? What to say? Where to look? With no talent among his co-workers and colleagues, he was ready to meet some fine looking, speed dating ladies. As noted in the 40 Year old Virgin, this was a chance to cram years of pimpage into one evening. What a grand opporunity. The night finally arrived and he musked up and turned the charm up to maximum. As he arrived at…
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Skeptics?*

Skeptics?*

Yesterday was the first day of classes for the new semester. Monday is always a dreaded day, but with my first class at 11, I am confident I will suffer from fewer cases of the Mundays than most. The problem I foresee is that their cases of the Mundays could end up negatively affecting me and giving me a case of the Mundays too and pretty soon everyone's got a case of the Munday's and the terrorists have won. I don't know what I'm talking about so it's time for a new paragraph. With my return to what I like to call "law school base camp" I return to my dwelling beneath the "guls." As I drove there the fleeting thought crossed my mind that maybe things will be better…
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Returned from the Hunt

Returned from the Hunt

I just returned from a night out with one of my best hunting buddies. There were many a gazelle, but none were tackled. He's married, so he comes along for the thrill of the hunt and as an extra pair of eyes for me. Althought it's imprinted in every (straight) man's DNA, it isn't my style to be tackling random gazelles, so it's more of a sightseeing tour than hunting expedition. Here's the bottom line, I'm very happy with my life and the way it is right now. Everything changes, and I know that this won't last forever, but I'm not going to succumb to the pressure of finding a "gazelle" right now. With time, patience and the right kind of bait & decoys, I will capture find what I'm looking for,…
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