Dear Drivers (generally),
Hi. I am a pedestrian, you know, that guy you see standing on the side of the road or in the middle of the street as you speed by at thirty-five miles-per-hour. I would like to introduce you to something called a crosswalk.
No, don’t interrupt. Let me finish. I know you think that you know what a crosswalk is but I know better. If you did, you wouldn’t come within inches of running me over everyday.
A crosswalk is a place in the road where pedestrians, like me, cross the street. It is designated by bold white lines and pay close attention now because this is the part you obviously do not understand: You, Driver, are to yield to Me, pedestrian, in the crosswalk.
It is revolutionary and difficult for you to understand, but it is true. I don’t want to die under the wheels of your car and I hope that you don’t want to commit vehicular homicide (killing someone with your car). I’m not asking for much, just crosswalks. Pleas yield to me when I am in the crosswalk. Jay-walkers? Run ’em over – fine, they ought to be in a crosswalk.
I only mention this because I am tired of nearly being run over crossing the street in a crosswalk everyday. Than you for your cooperation.
Hugs & Kisses,
The guy glaring at you from the crosswalk when you don’t yield