Dirty Uncle Mark

How do you select a bank?

Tue, 04 May 2010 21:00:00 -0800

I suppose a solid reputation and earning high interest rates would be important. For me, however, I need a bank with a good sense of humour. Though the campaign has ended, the following advertisements convinced me that this was the right bank for me.

When I buy something, I want to pay full price plus a little bit more. I want to pay fees too! I love that kid.

Fist pumps for Fees! Everybody! If those two didn't convince you then the next one, although not a part of the same advertising campaign, it will convince you. I swear.

If only all banks had a sense of humour.

You Would Think...

Wed, 28 Apr 2010 22:15:00 -0800

That it would be easy to blog regularly now that I'm an old married man that has settled into the routine of eat, sleep, work and play. The unfortunate part that I left out of the equation above is the significant quantity of boring that results. No longer do I have the kind of exciting and fascinating life that makes for a blog full of interesting posts. Well, I don't know that I ever had that exciting and fascinating life but I seemed to have far more stuff to write about before.

If I were to sum up things in just one phrase it would be HOV lane dog farts. We travel fast and far in the High Occupancy Vehicle lane every day on the morning commute. All of those single occupant vehicles in the other lanes crawling along look so frustrated by the traffic. I only mention dog farts because my step-dog who gets fed better food than we eat has made a point to share his foul emissions multiple times tonight. If only that hole could be sealed off. That would be the perfect dog.

My other occupation that consumes my time not at work would be of the home improvement sort. Wiring in a new dining room lamp, building and installing shelves and a desk in the den/office and so on. Photos, you say? I'm too busy blowing circuit breakers and what not to be taking photos. Lucky it's a concrete structure and damn hard to burn down.

As the dog continues to rain down his assault of noxious gasses, I must make my escape to fresher airspace. Until next time, adieu.

Yes, I'll be right with you

Tue, 13 Apr 2010 20:00:00 -0800

Okay, I'm back. Thanks for waiting.

I said we had a nice new view. Because everything on the internet is imaginary and fake I feel the need to prove our view.

That's Mount Baker in the morning. It lives in Washington state and luckily we're far enough away to not be able to tell how American it is. It looks lovely, doesn't it? I took that picture one early morning so I wouldn't have to get up that early ever again.

Sometimes things come across my lap, literally, that need to get onto the internet. Netbooks are the new Zubaz, so when I got to play with a brand new one I was intrigued.

1. Make a gun with your thumb and index finger. Prepare to be Tasered (Canada only).

2. Perform nipple stimulation to scroll up and down.

3. Peace, bro.

I found the nipple twist scrolling effect to be very difficult. If they redesigned the shape of the trackpad it might become more intuitive. The verdict: Netbooks are as dumb as Zubaz.

As the photos have done all the heavy lifting in this post, I'm certain there is one more obligatory photo. Flowers!

The lil' lady likes them. I do too. Today is our 3 year email-iversary. It all began just 3 years ago today when she emailed me about her underwear eating dog. I've since experienced his underwear consumption first hand.

See you soon.

Hi. My name is Mark and I have a blog.

Mon, 29 Mar 2010 22:00:00 -0800

I've been blog post free for one year.

I started blogging five years ago because it was what all the cool kids were doing. I'd dabbled in online journaling prior to blogging, but it wasn't anywhere as addictive. It's the comments, man. There's nothing like getting dozens of comments from people you don't even know that live all over the world. Kindred spirits, because most of them want you to come visit their corner of the internet and leave your mark on their blog too with another comment.

Memes were never my thing, though I did a few. Recipes and the Recipe of the week, that was my signature thanks to my grandma's endless collection of old weird cookbooks.

And then, I married another blogger and quit blogging. What can I say? It was hard work being a full time dog walker for my step-dog. Of course, that couldn't last forever and no longer is my sole responsibility that of walking and "businessing" the dog.

Life in Canadia is great. As you all surely saw in during the Olympics, the rivers flow with sweet maple syrup and the primary past times are beer drinking, fur trapping and hockey. The beer has more alcohol, my neighbors are way cooler and we've got a view that doesn't include drunken hosers.

Unfortunately, I've got to get up in the morning and bait my traps so it's best I get going. Maybe if I get some time after tapping the maple trees, I'll post again.

I've fallen off the wagon. Eh.