The Resurrection of The Recipe of the Week!
Welcome again, one and all, to the Recipe of the Week. Formerly a regular feature of DirtyUncleMark.com this popular item was shelved when silly things like graduating from law school and passing the bar exam demanded my attention. After plenty of careful prodding, mostly by Lotta, it's back. This week our cookbook has 100 Prize Winning Recipies!!! In 1953.
Does anyone else think that woman in the picture is uncomfortable with that dude's advances? What's he whispering in her ear anyway? That other dude clearly doesn't give a damn, he's too busy chowin' down. Nom-nom-nom-nom. Also, why is that one turtle vertical? Is it climbing to the top to meet the chopper? Suspect. This may be an early example of bad photoshopping, pre-photoshop. Maybe they could put a brighter yellow on that cover too.
Inside the front cover we find a message.
Oh, we're friends are we? Dedicated to the women, eh? That's right, men don't bake, do they. What's that you say? "Unique and interesting recipes." I know I'm looking in the right cookbook now. Aren't those some pictures of happy people? I think the dude in the 1951 picture is about to eat the microphone.
Adjacent to that inside cover is page 1.
Hold on a second. Who let 1 MAN into the competition? Blasphemy! Men don't Bake! I'm rather curious how the recipes had to be "adapted" for my use. I mean for my wife's use, since women do the baking "for the pure delight of pleasing the people that they love." So if my wife loves me, then clearly she will bake for me. Weren't the 1950s swell?
Onward to our first recipe. Yes, I said first because this week I'm bringing you an astounding 3 recipes for the price of 1! Order now and I'll throw in a free portable booklight!
My grandpa taught me to start with dessert to make sure you have room, so here we are in the cookies section.
Personally, I don't think pineapples should be masquerading as anything. Now I can't quite wrap my head around the idea of ruining perfectly good chocolate drop cookies with pineapple. If it ain't broke then don't break it, I say. All of the other ingredients seem reasonable and prudent, but really? Folding in crushed pineapple? Enough.
Lets move onto the pie section. This one is a full two page spread so I advise giving the image a click to get a good look at this delish dish.
Who would have thought a Salmon-Cheese pie could be so expensive? Really? $1000? Doesn't it just look *gag* delicious? Avert your eyes, and hey, look at the lady with the fake smile behind the Brand-New-Electric-Range!!! Okay, returning to the color picture, that's what I would imagine ET's brains look like. Why am I hungry for Reeses Pieces now? Like before I can't say anything too bad about the individual ingredients, but who would have thought that in such a configuration they would result in that?
Moving along to our third and final recipe this week it is also a main dish, fortunately without a photo.
Who what? A Waffle Enchilada? Didn't some connoisseur of Mexican food beat the crap out of this, uh, man? Another alienated man who bakes. Perhaps Ms. Annie P. should rephrase her introduction and be a bit more inclusive of the other gender. Just like pig and elephant DNA, enchiladas and waffles just don't mix. I bet even Kid Rock would back me up on this one, being the Waffle House fan he appears to be.
Finally, we take a quick look at the back cover of the cookbook to see what nobody else ever does.
Well that's kinda boring, but who is "They." The poorly photoshopped turtles? Hold on, what kind of adult entertainment flour are they selling? Quadruple X? That's insane. Perhaps the 25¢ cookbook was the forerunner of the 25¢ peep show. All this from the company whose mascot has unintentionally become the embodiment of the average American physique. Go on, I dare you to poke me in the belly.
AAAAH! I'm screaming like a crazed Beatles fan! So excited to see this again. I'm going to make the waffle enchiladas and take pictures for you!
Mark, I was feeling a bit queasy BEFORE I started reading. Now? Ew.
Turtles... I can't stomach them because they look like Kobe's paws with unclipped nails.
HEY! Man! Stop talking about cooking! Why don't you stick to the things that you know: working in an office, hitting on the secretaries, smoking a pipe, and drinking martinis.
Also, whoever thought that waffle enchiladas was a good idea should be beaten with a waffle. Or a baseball bat. Either one.
I know how to take care of a Turtle. Flush it down a toilet, and a turtle take care of itself.
ps. That "DUDE" is the one and only Art Linkletter. Tsk Tsk Tsk... show some respect dirty mark!!!!
SCORE! I totally have an idea of what to cook for my St. Pat's pot-luck tomorrow!
P.S.--That lone turtle is obviously vertical because they are playing a massive game of "King of the Mountain." Obviously.
Hmmmm... *licks lips*. I loves me some HOT XXXX Flour. Ooh, yeah. That's it. Now arch your back a bit, honey. I'm gonna sift you like a bad monkey. Mmm-hmmm. That's it.
*ahem*
Thanks for bringing the recipes back DUM. Now if only I could bring my lunch back after the whole Waffle Enchilada thought. Urp.
Lotta ~ looking forward to those pictures.
12ontheinside ~ (shouldn't it be 24 on the inside?) Glad you enjoyed it.
the wife ~ he needs a trip to petsmart, doesn't he....
MonsteRawr ~ hate to tell you this, but all the things you listed that I "know," I don't know anything about. Agreed, he should have been beaten with a wiffle bat.
Pamela ~ yeah, that's one way to take care of 'em. As for Art, calling him "dude" is respect.
Kanigget ~ Which One?! Ahh, yes, king of the serving dish mountain.
Eric ~ that one was at Video Mania, wasn't it? Glad to bring them back, even at the cost of your lunch.
This was disturbing on SO many levels.
However, I must point out that the photo of the "junior baker" also appears to be a young man. Or else, a mammary-challenged girl.
Those turtles REALLY bug me, with their pecan penile projectiles.