Recipe of the Week: French Fried...What?!@
My life has reached such great depths of boring that all I have to post anymore is the Recipe of the Week, so here we are again! This week's recipe is something I wouldn't be surprised to find on one of my favorite websites: thisiswhyyourefat.com. If you're trying to diet or you're running out of fatty foods to try visit that site regularly and you'll either lose your appetite or balloon to Sally Struthers like proportion. Before I reveal that delightful recipe we must peruse the rest of the cookbook beginning with the cover.
Straight from the presses in 1952 this cooker & deep fryer would go on to help coin phrases like "once on the lips, always on the hips" and make Americans the plump greasy food lovers they are today. God Bless America. I am glad that the times have changed and people have stopped deep frying fish balls. That's just pain inhumane.
Doesn't she look thrilled with her new deep fryer french fried potatoes? "...Delicious results with all kinds of foods," you're goddamn right. Everything's better deep fried. Everything. It's even promoting recycling your shortening, putting it decades ahead of other environmentally un-friendly deep fryers. Interestingly, this company wants you to believe that by buying their products you're part of the family. Sounds somewhat familiar. I wonder if competitors like Oster or GE ever ran ads with people saying, "I'm just not cool enough to be a Sunbeam person," because that would be awesome. Perhaps I'm digressing.
Did anybody else read that and wonder about the "Highly Accurate" portion of the "'Simmer' range." What, exactly, is accurate about a range. Furthermore, how accurate are we talking? If I want to deep fry something at 342, can I do it? How about 276? Give me digital LED controls please, accurate down to a tenth of a degree and then I'll concede to you the accurate claim. Oh, and what gives with the random finger in the picture? Did we really need help to find the thermostatic control?
There's another appendage directing our attention unnecessarily in the top picture. Fascinating explanation of why there's no spout. That closes the door on the certain hit - "I'm a little deep fryer." This company really doesn't leave much out there so I guess it's time to get on to a recipe.
Tying in brilliantly with last weeks "Appe-teasers" we find the recipe in this grouping.
Oooo. You may have noticed if you're particularly observant that there is a popcorn listing on the built-in Cook Guide. Popcorn's nothing radical, but what if.... just what if.... Yes, that's right.
Quite honestly, this sounds delicious. The fact that you have to "drain on absorbent paper" before eating, grosses me out, a lot. I can almost imagine serving this up at a party and ending up with greasy paper towels everywhere and the place smelling like a McDonald's. While repulsed at the greasiness of this, I'm intrigued and perhaps we'll have to make this. Just wait until my Wii Fit finds out about that.
And finally the back cover.
I'm slightly concerned about appliances recommending other appliances and then what happens when they all rise up and overthrow their human masters to reign supreme over the scorched lands that remain? While you're eating your breakfast tomorrow just look at your toaster and consider whether or not it sees you as a great source of energy.
One appliance doesn't belong with the rest above, can you spot it? If you said Shavemaster, you're right! Keep your shavers out of the kitchen. What's that? No, the Baby Bottle Warmers don't look phallic. Absolutely not.
a leaky spout is dangerous...
I thought the list of suggested fryable foods on the machine was disturbing. Who deep fries a pot roast? I suspect she was pointing into the fryer, daring us to encourage her to fry up her finger.
I like the woman who seems to be dancing with the appliances. Now, I love my Kitchen-Aid mixer, but I've never felt any desire to waltz around the kitchen with it. Maybe I'm using it wrong.
I'll make sure to serve you up some hot, deep-fried excitement ASAP my little Honey Dew.
This post was MADE for my father. Seriously. I'm going to buy him a fresh bucket of beef lard for Sunday dinner! Because he knows that something that requires you to simmer it for 2.5 to 3.5 hrs in bubbling oil has to taste good.
Don't worry, we have a cardiologist on stand-by and regular appointments for angioplasty. WORTH IT.
I read the back cover, and all I could think was, "Hmm, Sunbeam...electrical cockroaches." Others follow, indeed. Creepy as all get out.
I love thisiswhyyourefat. I check it every week before planning my menu. And even I would not deep fry popcorn. Erk.
I kind of thought this back page was a cycle of life for an appliance: You start out as a little shaver, eventually get toast, get into gawd-awfully expensive coffee, straighten yourself out, stew in your juices and eventually become the almighty MixMaster! (Time to go, I am beginning to hear the theme song for "Lion King".)
Why I recall back in the day... Don't just stand there! When an old-timer starts in with "Why I recall back in the day", you best pull up a chair!
That's better.
Where was I? Ah, yes. Back in the day all popcorn was essentially grease-cooked. Back before the fancy air poppers and microwave oven popcorn. I recall da would be in charge of the popcorn (it was dangerous as all git-out). The preparer might not make it out alive. He'd take half a cup of phosphorus and just a pinch of pure sodium and head out to the wood shed with an ear of corn. Man was that delicious! Even if there was a bit of blood on it.
Man - just put some butter on that popcorn. A little bit of fat goes a long ways.
Is this the gift you would buy someone who has everything else?
French Fried Pop Corn?
I'm thinking my boys would love it.
Go glad I wasn't a woman of the 50's.
Hello Mark i have been looking for that sunbeam recipe booklet fro years and here you have it. Do you know where i might get one? It was my mother's she must have recieved it for a wedding present it came out the year she was married. She used to make the meatballs and sauce and the chicken and dumplings, if you have not tried it it's a winner. people use to beg her for the meatballs. Thank you Marissa in FT Wayne
Okay - the lady on the back cover with her hand on the iron is freaking me out.
But I would totally make and eat the french fried popcorn. Just sayin'.
Hey, I've been looking for a deep fryer....they don't make them like they used to.
Uhm....what happened to you? Did you get a real job and retire from blogging?