Life Sucks When a Computer Calls You Fat
So last May I walked 5 miles uphill in the snow and stood in line to buy a Wii Fit on the day it was released. Worst purchase ever. It started out alright telling me that I'm "normal" and some of the balance games were fun but about two weeks ago I stepped onto the balance board and it called me fat.
You should hear the music that plays as it turns the screen an ominous color. It may as well be playing the tune "fatty-fatty-bo-batty" as it plots the weight of your fat ass and BMI on the graph like a peak on Mt. Obesity, hopefully the highest peak in the Great Chubby Mountains.
Being an indolent porky lad, I chose to revive my cross country days from over a decade ago and begin running. What a bad idea. Actually, I had big dreams of marathon proportion but they've already been shattered because when I did go for a couple of runs my feet were so painfully sore from bearing the weight of my corpulence I could barely stand.
With a loathing spirit I stepped back on the Wii Fit balance after failing at running. The extremely low impact Wii Fit Yoga workout will surely whip me back into shape. So far Mt. Obesity remains the highest point on the graph but the Chubby Mountains have yet to flatten out into the skinny plains of "normal" BMIs.
Clearly the need for me to shape up is second only to my blogging and by gauging how much of that I've been doing, it's going to be a while.
A video game that makes you feel bad about yourself? No thank you!
It could have been worse. At least the screen didn't start reading, "OW! Shit! Get off me, you wide load! Damn, try some vegetables once in a while, fat ass." Now THAT's traumatizing.
I don't even want to know what the Wii Fit would tell me. Actually, I bet it would tell me to grow another 6 inches. THEN I WOULD BE PERFECT.
:) The happiness of married life strikes again!
I knew there was a reason why I don't own the Wii Fit game. I would hate to have to throw the Wii through the TV screen.
I can't wait to see you again, to see how you've bulged out. Are you going to have to get two seats on the airplane?
I THOUGHT I wanted a Wii. maybe not.
Hmm, maybe I won't get one. Who needs lower self-esteem? ;)
I like Marnie's idea - if I grow another 6" I'll be perfect.